Today, I believe, actually turned out pretty normal. I went to work, did an assesment for a potential new resident, mowed the lawn and made dinner. No drama or crazy issues. Jonathan made fun of how I mowed the lawn, he is so anal about it. It must be a man thing. I think it looks great!
The only odd thing out of my whole day was going out to do the resident assesment. A man came in today looking for a safe place for his mother. He told me how she was fairly independent and had some small short term memory problems. After touring him through the building I ventured out to where she was staying for her rehibilitation (she recently broke her hip). I wandered my way through the building having my little dog Gemi in my handbag since it was too hot to leave her in the car. I found her room and came in introducing myself. I told her I was there to assess her. The woman stares up at me from her wheelchair tucked under her table tray and replies "I'm not hard of hearing you know."
Tina has hypersensitivity hearing. When she was born the doctor used forcepts to pull her out of her mother's womb and it damaged her frontal lobe. As a result she has had a slight seizure disorder and a hearing problem that she hid for many years. I thought I was speaking softly but aparently it wasn't soft enough. At a whisper I began again and she paused and looked at me and then the dog. "I suppose some people like dogs in their room... I don't." Tina said. I apologized and explained that it was too hot to leave her outside and I was on my way home from work and she comes with me daily to my job. "Well it doesn't seem to bark like most dogs, probably only when it's antagonized." I believe she was afraid the dog would bark and it would hurt her ears. I started to ask her questions about her abilities and mindset, my quieted tone of voice seemed to suit her just fine.
Her son warned me that she may "stretch the truth" about her abilities. I inquired if she needed any assistance dressing and she told me no. Now I knew that this was not true because her son said she was unable to put her pants and socks on by herself. I asked if she needed any help perhaps with her pants or socks due to her broken hip, trying to get a more honest answer. "Well my pants are on aren't they? So I guess I can do it just fine on my own," Tina stated in a stern voice.
Ookayy next question. The more I asked her, the more she asked me. "Where did you say you were from?" I told her the name of our home and that her son had been in to visit today. "Well why would my son being doing that?" I told her that her that he has been out looking for a place for her to live when she got discharged from the rehibilitation center. She then informed me that she already had a place to live. Apparently her son had failed to mention to her that she would not be going home. You would think I would have at least gotten a heads up as to her being clueless of this whole sitiation. So adding this to the already stacking odds against me Tina really doesn't care for me now.
Surprisingly, on an off note, this is not the first time this has happened to me. Every so often I get booted from a house, yelled at, or told to get the hell away when the family leaves it up to me to break this news to their loved one. Although unfair that I become the angry target of an assumingly sweet elderly person, if this makes the process easier on the family (not so much the resident) then I guess it will just be something that I will encounter time from time.
I quickly finished the rest of my questions and assured her that her son will be speaking with her soon. I showed myself to the door and told her that it was very nice to meet her. "You're the first one to ever tell me that," she replied dryly. And off I went, thank goodness that was done with. I called her son once I got home. He asked me how it went. I told him good and casually asked if he had mentioned anything to her about this move to her yet. "No we haven't told her yet. We are planning on selling her home. My brother and I think this is best for her," he non-chalantly replied. I told him that she was not happy that I was there but overall I concluded the same assesment as the one we did without her presence. He was grateful and we hung up the phone.
In the long run Tina will end up being quite comfortable within our community. We will be able to assist her when she needs it and give her the privacy and quiet that she strives for. Sometimes we are required to give the "surprise" of their upcoming move. As adult children, even if your parents are in their 80's, it is not always easy to tell them what needs to be done in their best interest if they are not willing or able to listen or understand.
